Mic drop!!

I don’t know about anyone else, but parenting a teenage boy is basically like being a contestant on a game show where the rules are made up, the points are imaginary, and you’re somehow always losing.

I used to think, "Who keeps score during arguments?" Then I had a teenager.

Apparently, my home has been converted into a high-stakes arena where every conversation is a championship bout, and I am the underdog who never even makes the playoffs.

I have no idea how his math works, but the scoreboard is remarkably consistent. According to Aa, the daily standings are:

 Aa: 8 (and rising)

 Me: 0 (permanently) 

His favourite victory comeback? Proudly announces “Mic Drop! " with a hand gesture.  

PC - Google images

He delivers it with the confidence of a rock star playing a sold-out stadium, usually right after I’ve asked him to do something revolutionary, like pick up a sock or put his lunch box in the sink.

How is it that at 13, they are already ‘Know-it-all’? It’s truly a medical miracle. Every attempt to offer parental advice will meet with the "Two Pillars of Teen Defiance": 

•  "I KNOWWW!" (Teen Translation: I didn't know, but I'll die before admitting it.)
•  "OKAAAAAYYYY!"(Teen Translation: This task will never be completed in this lifetime.)

Last night, I checked my blood pressure and found it was a bit low. Aa saw an opportunity to annoy. He walked into my room, selflessly offering to "provide his services" to get those numbers back up into the danger zone. 

He exited the room with a mic drop, naturally.

 I’m letting him live in this "Utopia" for now. I don’t have the heart to tell him the Golden Rule of Life: You can either win an argument with a woman, or you can have peace—but you can’t have both.

 I’ll just sit here with my "0" score and wait for the next decade. That's when the real "Mic Drop" happens.