A Chronicle of an Overthinker: The World's Most Exhausted Superhero

If overthinking were a superpower, I wouldn’t just be a superhero—I’d be the undisputed leader of the Avengers. I wasn't bitten by a radioactive spider or a genetically modified chimpanzee. No, this absolute curse is generational wealth, passed down directly from my ancestors. 

Chapter 1: The Origin   

It all started in school with multiple-choice questions in exams. I hated them. Other kids saw A, B, C, or D. I saw four psychological traps. Through the power of severe overthinking, I could construct a flawless, 10-step logical argument for why every single option was correct. Naturally, I would pick the wrong one. To this day, multiple-choice questions give me hives.

Chapter 2: Codenames and clues

This superpower extends to family game night. Whenever I play Codenames with my cousin, niece, and Aa, a simple one-word clue becomes a Da Vinci Code cipher. I will connect "Tree" to "Spaceship" via a complex web of conspiracy theories, overcomplicate the entire board, and confidently pick the exact card that loses us the game. Aa never picks me for his team :( 


Chapter 3: Agent 99 mode 

The real danger happens when I need to hide something. My house is not Buckingham Palace. It doesn't have 775 rooms. It has three. Three rooms! Yet, if I decide to hide a valuable item before going on holiday, I enter full AGENT 99 mode. I overcomplicate the hiding spot so thoroughly that weeks after returning, it takes a 10-day Mission to recover my own watch. This is a true story, no cap. 

Chapter 4: The Great Passport Heist  

This brings us to the recent Passport Disaster.

After a trip in January, amidst the chaos of house renovations, I decided to be "organised." In March, I hid my passport in a spot so secure that even British Intelligence couldn't find it. I distinctly remember telling my boys where I put it. (Spoilers: They didn't listen, obviously!!).

Flash forward two months. Next holiday booked. Time to gracefully grab the passport and—cue panic music—it has vanished into thin air. 

  • Day 1: The Operation: I searched every logical corner of the house. Nothing.

  • Day 2: Mission Impossible: Upgraded the search radius. I checked every cupboard, every drawer, in every room, including the garage. Still no luck.

  • Day 3: Absolute Obsession: I woke up at the crack of dawn, possessed by the spirit of a detective. I refused to eat, sleep, or blink until it was found. And then... EUREKA! I found it. I had hidden it so well that I had successfully outsmarted myself.

⚠️ For the Record: Throughout this entire three-day house crisis, I received absolutely zero assistance from the ungrateful peasants who cohabitate this palace with me. Not a single finger was lifted.

The End: Aftermath

I am currently writing this while suffering from severe, post-search vertigo. I feel giddy, exhausted, and emotionally drained by my own intellect. 

Moving forward, I am officially retiring from my espionage. I am buying AirTags for my passport, my watch, my keys, and honestly, probably my sanity.

What do you do to keep your things safe!! I'm sure I'm not alone. 

 


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Empowering the inner goddess

Valen'TOwN'

Empty Box of Nothingness