Auto-pilot mode on!!

Wait!  is it already Mid-Dec ?? !!  its so Christmasy everywhere!! 

I still remember the last few minutes of 2018,  I was flipping between Prime and Netflix to choose a right film to start 2019 positively. 12 months has rolled on, still flipping between them and the new addition of Disney+ to binge watch. 

I reckon all this technology/entertainment is  mesmerising my life and taking me high on the weed trip.I feel with all this options, I’m slowly losing my mind with more absent mindedness. Good thing that came out of all this is I hardly get anxiety these days because I keep forgetting everything. I have given up on my calendar notification as it keeps buzzing every half hour to remind me of something.. Too much is too much.

I'm sitting in my couch trying to recap past 12 months as if I was in some kind of Coma. Trip to London seems like a nice dream but I have picture proof that I have used the toilets in Buckingham palace (its not what you think!). And then to Fiji, I would’ve vouched it to be the best dream but that scary face mask hanging in the wall reminds me that I have been there for sure.so that’s cleared.

I remember my only goal of London trip was bring back A without losing him.  In one of the train journey to regional UK, I kept the train tickets safe in my pockets but when we got off I forgot where it was, I was looking all over my handbag(Should see look on A face!! all panic!!) and finally the station master let us go without ticket. I found my ticket outside the station. From then on, A took in-charge of holding the train tickets. He didn't want to risk it and started calling me Ms.Forgetful. <<Parenting tips: teaching little one how to be responsible!!>> 

Now I totally see why we need to get souvenirs and take million pictures of every second spent on holidays.

I feel I have not been doing much activity with A too, I remember last year we used to do art and crafts at home.. Now its all about board games, books and puzzles. Maybe that should be my resolution for next year to do more arty crafts with A. <Wait for me while I put that in my calendar as recurrence reminder everyday in 2020!! Done!!) . 

Oh yea!! then there was that poetry thingy!! it got published by Greater Dandenong library as a book. It all feels so far away. I still feel so doped. Trust me, I don't drink or take any drugs. Maybe naturally my hormones are producing something to stop me worrying or feeling anxious. Whatever it is, Im glad it's working.

Whatever happened in between its all blurred out.. You know what this means?!..
 <hear me out!! Im thinking out loud >

My life is in a bloody ground hog day..I do the same thing everyday.. that made my brain stop working just running in auto pilot mode.. In auto-pilot mode ,it just follow the std procedure and doesn't deviate from the steps..that is why I keep forgetting the things I do out of my routine like catching up with my friends or train tickets.. this totally makes sense. First thing first, I need break the auto pilot mode.

My brain  needs some break to break the auto pilot mode...

until then Caio..