Wo(a)ndering thoughts!!!

One could split their life in to two parts if you are married, life before and life after.It sounds cliche'  but life do change in some way.  One such thing is the pressure of having a child, you get married and tried to settle down financially first before you commit yourself to take on bigger responsibility. Child is something was not in my radar , I was not ready emotionally, physically and financially at first.  We had our plans to settle down before we commit ourselves to become a parent. We wanted to make sure We build a support system in the new country we just moved in. If you live closer to your family, you have the privilege to count on them for occasional child minding.  I don't have that privilege, all we could do is one of us have to quit our job to take care of the child until he or she is  ready to go to day care.   Pressure was on from day 1, initially you don't take'em seriously, just brush off the comments to a point after 2 yrs every...

**Post was meant to be posted in July 2021** This year is the BIG year, I don't remember any of my previous  big O bdays.. thinking about it I realised  I never paid any attention to my age. Never once I told myself I can't do this coz of my age, I have always done something coz I want to do it. Hitting 40 doesn't scare me, it feels perfect.  Considering the life span of human these days, I may well be called middle-aged person. Where did time fly?  It is so true one can not get their youth or childhood back. However, one can choose to be innocent(not ignorant) like a child, curious like youth and stay young forever. Although my body and metabolism may not agree with it. who cares?! The only thing I planned as an adult is my vacations and holidays, not worked out what I want to be or where I want to be 5 or 10 yrs down the time.  I believe in life experiences and people we meet , how it influence our thinking and inspirations for next step. I look forward to tha...

 How?? you may ask Let me complete the title "how to become a Billionaire in alternative universe!!" . Don't roll your eyes!! This is a true story , listen up carefully.  Straight from the horses mouth, you are now reading the true story of a Billionaire in alternate universe. Yup, thats me.. Technically its lil A & G, I can tag along even though I didn't support their ideas or efforts. First lesson you should learn is You MUST always always support the foolishness/ the great initiatives your family do. Don't be that unsupportive, logical, realistic, negative person.  Its all started in 2019/2020, when McDonalds introduced their Monopoly deal. You can play Monopoly with the stickers you collect from them , more you buy more chances of you winning 'something'.  Let me list the things we DID not WIN in this universe, waiting to be collected in alternate universe. --->Full backyard kitchen with BBQ and all.. - Im glad we didn't win this coz we don...

Abdul Kalam said "You have to dream before your dreams can come true!!" ..  lil A took this quote too far and started to dream so much so, he is exploring and considering his options.The endless possibilities means he can keep changing his profession. Who knows he would become a multi-verse professional. One day he wants to work at McDonalds for free nuggets, next he is thinking of becoming a chef because he cooks his 2 min noodles in perfect spice(provided). One day he decides to become wedding photographer after comparing the picture he took with his Dad's  (who needs a basics in photography crash course), next he wants to be an assistant to David Attenborough. One day he is a cricketer , next he is a tennis player , then he will become an Olympic athlete (he has a  strategy for 100m running). One day he is a billionaire , he promised to  buy me a country house and next day he has no plans to move out of our lil unit forever. One day he wants to be a scientist , ne...

// This is my entry to SBS - Emergence (non-fiction category)//  This is a story of a girl who dreams a new dream.  No one ever asked her what she wants to be when she grows up. I suppose a girl from a small country town have her life preplanned even before her first breath. With no surprise, her life is foretold just like any other girl in town, she would go to 2 of 3 school, college if lucky and then get married, have children, live a life for her family and die thinking she served her lives purpose. It is really a piece of cake if you follow the plan. Life is not that complicated when you have no dreams and expectation.  Ten year old me dreamed of a future to live with my parents forever. I didn't know there was a world that existed outside. It is not like I was kept under the hood, my dad took me on an occasional trip to big cities and most of my summer holidays spent with my cousins at the country house. But for me home is where my parents live, and my future is to l...

 Finally the D-day which most of us thought would never come.. To be able to fly back to see loved ones and physically spend time with them, not a video call, no more "You are on mute, press the mic button" or "Turn the camera otherway"..  Trip was emotional, healing and lived every minute of it.  The value of something is truely understood in its absence, 2 yrs of lockdown has taught me the value of people, human connections and the energy we give each other. Australia had the toughest lockdowns. It scarred us all for life I guess.  Lil A started counting down the minute I booked our tickets, he started packing month before, even his cloths ironed and packed in a suitcase. He is one my dad's V2 hands down. We did a weekend away to farm stay week before we were scheduled to fly, A was upset that he packed all his cloths :) Mom  started making pickles, dry mangoes for A and stocking noodles and pasta in her pantry. Lil A demanded her not to make dry mangoes coz h...

 Dasaratha enters Kaikeyi's apartment, she looks stunning as always without makeup . "This is the 5th time this week, there is no water in the Tank. This apartment complex is the worst you could find me?!!" Dasaratha looked at his beautiful wife, "Morning darling!" "and that iRobot doesn't charge for some reason, the security camera has issues from last week, nothing works here!" shows her frustration by throwing the sofa cushion.  Dasaratha gets her a glass of water "Calm down sweet heart!, breathe in!" Kaikeyi gives him a killer look,  "Did you talk to Ram about moving out? " Dasaratha doesn't respond, sits quietly next to her and checks his phone. Kaikeyi " I ask you one thing, just one thing!!, Don't you love me?!" she keeps her face like cute little puppy Dasaratha knows this is her usual trait to get something done . Dasaratha feeling helpless, calls Ram, he doesn't respond. He checks Ram's phone ...

Its been almost 2 yrs since I blogged properly, partly coz I didn't know how to cope with losing few ppl close to my heart and deal with difficult family members.. Started off in early 2020, took me whole of 2021 to start my healing journey and Im in the process still. It felt like it never-ending constant battle trying to come out of grief /anger/frustration along with anxiety caused by expectation of others. Healing takes time, looking back I'm proud of myself for being mindful of my emotions and acknowledged them instead of ignoring 'em. It felt like lot of work and whole year seemed blur.   I'm in a much better place right now in that process, still healing, but Im aware of my triggers and try not to think or talk about them. Trying to set healthy boundaries around people which is hard especially you are always told to go extra mile with others. Identifying the thin line between being self-care and selfish.  You are not healed until you come in peace with your traum...